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Sunday 14 April 2013

The Biggest Cause of Sexual Problems

Sexual problems are obviously very frustrating and need to be addressed to ensure a healthy sex life. Sex is an amazing part of life - whether most people are willing to admit it or not - and problems here will flow over into other aspects of your life and relationships. In the same regard problems in other areas will also manifest themselves in your sex life as well.
What causes sexual problems?
Most experts agree that the biggest cause of sexual problems is our own mind. In fact it's quite fascinating just how much our fear, worry, doubt, anxiety and other negative emotions can have on our bodies as well. Modern medicine is slowly starting to realize this and beginning to look for the root causes of a symptom rather than just covering it up with drugs.
So before you think that there's something wrong with your body or how you're wired... think again. The most likely cause is the way you feel about sex and your own body. These feelings might not even be conscious and are likely to have been planted into your unconscious mind from a very young age.
How beliefs are formed
I've commonly heard figures that as much as 70% of our beliefs are formed before the age of 7 and then that another 25% are formed before we leave the teenage years. This basically means that we are carrying around baggage and conclusions that were formed a very long time ago. It's also important to remember that beliefs do not come from facts... only the interpretation we put on the world which means many beliefs are completely unfounded.

For example let's say you grew up in a household where sex was not talked about openly and even considered dirty. This is going to form your beliefs about sex that you carry with you to this day. Obviously you have a different perspective on sex now but unless you dive into your unconscious mind and remove your limiting beliefs from childhood you're going to be fighting an internal battle every time you have sex.
How to remove your limiting beliefs
There are various schools of thought on how to remove limiting beliefs from hypnosis to Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) and beyond. Different people will see different results but the principles are the same. For simplicities sake this could be described in a 3 step process:
1. Identify your limiting beliefs (often the hardest part of the process)
2. Questioning the validity of what you believe
3. Replace the old limiting belief with a new empowering belief
This may sound ridiculously simple but it's not quite as easy as it looks. Since you've been conditioning your mind for years using your old beliefs you might find that they are very engrained. Your mind can even fight you when you try to remove beliefs that you logically know aren't serving you.
Other ways your mind can cause sexual problems
Sexual problems can be caused by everyday stress and worry as well. Maybe it's a case of eliminating negative influences from your immediate life. However I believe that a lot of what we see on the surface is really caused by unconscious limiting beliefs.
I had a former girlfriend who was always stressed out at work and this greatly affected other areas of her life as well. While she liked to blame her boss and working conditions guess what happened when she changed jobs... she found the next job stressful all over again! Turns out this was a pattern with her and it wasn't about the job or work she was doing... it was her limiting beliefs due to unworthiness that made her work excessively hard and become stressed no matter what she did.
Only when she learns to deal with those unconscious limiting beliefs that keep telling her she's not good enough will she find balance and happiness in her life. She's still working on it and getting there slowly. These things can take time but I know if she keeps at it she'll experience an amazing life on the other side of it.

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